Let’s face it. Failure stings. But it also teaches. When I look back on my early days as a coach, I realise my biggest leaps forward didn’t come from wins, they came from the losses, the quiet sessions, the confused faces, or the evenings when I left wondering if I was getting through to anyone at all.
Whether you’re coaching kids on a muddy football pitch, guiding adults through their first cricket session, or exploring new approaches from other sports, failure is part of the deal. It taught me invaluable lessons that transformed how I coach today. So, let’s talk about what I learned, and how it might just help you avoid the same pitfalls.
Lesson 1: Coaching Isn’t About You
In my early days, I thought being a great coach meant having all the answers. I’d over-plan drills, talk too much, and focus on demonstrating my knowledge instead of listening and observing.
What I eventually realised? The best coaching starts with understanding your athletes’ needs, not showing off your own. Whether it’s a shy 9-year-old scared to take a penalty or a 42-year-old rediscovering sport after decades, they need empathy, not ego.
Curious how to adapt your sessions to different personalities and confidence levels? Check out this helpful piece on Understanding the Needs of The Individual.
Lesson 2: Simplicity Beats Complexity
I used to think coaching meant “designing magic” – complex drills, layered tactics, breakthroughs in biomechanics. It looked good on paper, but in reality, I lost players in the complexity.
Simple, engaging activities spark better learning and enjoyment.
- With young players? Keep drills short, fun, and varied.
- With adults? Explain the ‘why’ behind each activity and make it relatable.
- With mixed-ability groups? Offer choice (but not too much) let them progress or stay at a level that suits them.
If you’re looking for fun and inclusive activities, Buddle by Sport England has practical resources designed for community sports coaches just like you.
Lesson 3: Emotional Safety Comes First
It’s not just about physical skills. Especially with children and teens, players thrive when they feel safe, seen, and supported. One of my toughest lessons was watching a promising player pull away because I’d failed to spot their anxiety.
Psychological safety = better engagement + long-term growth.
Start by building trust:
- Take time to learn names and notice moods.
- Recognise effort, not just outcomes.
- Check in with players who seem withdrawn or frustrated.
You don’t have to be a psychologist, just human. This Psychology Today article on Helping Anxious Athletes offers insights that can shift how you support your team emotionally.
Lesson 4: Parents and Participants Are Your Allies… If You Let Them In
A big reason I struggled early on? I tried to do everything myself — coach, organiser, motivator, therapist, and buffer against frustrated parents. That didn’t last long.
Whether you’re working with kids or adults, communication builds trust. Here’s what started working for me:
- With parents: Set clear expectations upfront. Invite them into the journey. Ask for help (car-sharing, snack duty, sideline positivity).
- With adult participants: Offer feedback loops. Find out what they enjoy and what they want to improve.
Looking to get adults more invested? Here’s a great guide on Developing a Great Participant Experience from UK Coaching.
Lesson 5: Reflect, Don’t Ruminate
There’s a difference between beating yourself up after a session and actually learning from it. One keeps you stuck; the other moves you forward.
Create time to reflect between sessions — even just five minutes. Ask:
- What went well today?
- What felt off or confusing?
- What will I try differently next time?
If you like structure, this Connected Coaches blog on reflective practice is a good starting point.
Final Thoughts: Failing Isn’t the Opposite of Coaching — It’s Part of It
Whether you coach youth beginners, adult returners, or a mix of both — failure is part of growth. Every missed opportunity, flat session, or confused drill is a nudge towards being better next time.
If you’re in the thick of it right now, know this: You’re not alone. And if you’re willing to listen, learn, and adapt? You’re already on the right path.
Need more inspiration and insight? Explore UK Coaching — across coaching types, experience levels, and sports, they’ve got you covered.
