You are probably always doing the best you can, but you can only do that based on where you are at. If you don’t have the tools to do something else, different, or better then you won’t be able to. It’s like needing to use an Allen wrench, not having one, and trying to do the job with a hammer. You might be able to do it, but chances are you can’t. You may keep trying but nothing changes because you don’t have the right tool.
Reacting to negative stuff
It’s ironic that we trust the negative stuff we say to and about ourselves, but we don’t trust the positive, confident stuff. Why? As human beings, we are hardwired to react to situations in a negative, untrusting way so that piece of us is just there. It just exists. It’s there to protect us but often gets in the way because we can’t see the other side. To think positively and confidently you need to develop that skill. It’s not hard but there’s a process and it takes a little bit of time to replace the negative thoughts with more neutral positive thoughts. You can make that change. The brain is very neuroplastic. So, part of the process is knowing that you can make a change, understanding the impact of negative untrusting thoughts, and developing the ability to change that in someone else.
Trusting your intuition
Once you can change how you are thinking you also need to understand that you can learn to trust your intuition. Huh? When a situation happens there are two responses. The first response comes from your intuition and the second one from your head. We often listen to our head because we are taught to think but your intuition speaks more of the truth. It’s a collection of all your experiences and knows what you should be doing or saying. Your intuition is that little voice that comes from a place other than your head. Many refer to it in terms of a ‘gut feeling’ while others might say ‘it’s my heart or soul’ speaking to me.
Although your intuition is the first thing you hear, you probably don’t often listen to it because 1) you aren’t used to it and 2) it’s quieter.
How do you get better at listening to your intuition, hence trusting yourself? I’ve worked with many clients on this and It can definitely be challenging but with practice and patience, it’ll get better. Practice listening to it! When something comes up, see if you can hear that first tiny voice. What is it saying? Now, move in that direction. See what happens. I’ll guarantee you, all of my clients who have gotten better at this, are better at making decisions and generally happier. If this sounds like a speeding train, here’s an exercise to start with. At the end of the day, think back to situations where your intuition was telling you to do something, but you didn’t listen. What was it telling you? Why didn’t you listen? What was the result of not listening? What do you think the result would have been had you listened?
There’s really no reason to NOT trust yourself.
Ultimately, YOU do have the answers you need, inside of yourself. If you think your brain makes rational decisions, you’d be wrong. Many of those decisions are ruled by your ego. Your intuition is a database of your experiences and has the information you need to make good decisions. Listen and trust!